18 12 / 2012

It has been a while since I’ve posted here… but I’m back with some thoughts that need to be heard. 

Everyone has heard of the recent tragedy that happened in Connecticut a few short days ago. But everyone disagrees on the reasons for why this happened. Some blame it on loose gun control, others just think people are crazy. But I, for one, think it’s not guns that allow evil into this world, it is a lack of God in the world that allows evil.  

Yes, I might be biased that we need Christ because I have a personal relationship with God. But my reasons are pretty sound, and many other would agree with me. We are born into a sinful world, and the world changes us if we allow it to. I know personally, that when I do not have Christ in my life, I feel empty, lonely, and constantly trying to appease my happiness. But the voids we have in our hearts cannot be fulfilled with the things of this world. I’m positive that the 24 year old young man who shot those kids did not receive any fulfillment in doing so. And I also believe that his emptiness is what led to his own demise. 

We don’t just want God in our lives. We NEED him in our lives. We NEED more prayers. We NEED to be open to his love, so that events like this do not happen. 

What would make this world a better place is not more gun control, tighter security, and more “stuff” to fill our voids. What we need more of is God and his unending love… only then would there be less endings of innocent lives. 

08 4 / 2012

I am a leaper. Yet He doesn’t see my spots.

I am an adulterer. Yet He cleanses my dirt.

I am a beggar. Yet He provides all I need.

I am a liar. Yet He knows the truth in my heart.

I am a hypocrite. Yet He shines His light in my life. 

I am foolish. Yet He still gives me His wisdom.

I am reckless. Yet He heals me. 

I am not worthy. Yet He died for my sins, and rose again to keep on loving me. 

15 3 / 2012

I see they way they look at you. Smiling. Flirting. Gazing. 

You are a muse to them. But it makes sense… you are amazing. 

The way words flow out of your mouth, like gushing waterfalls,

Excites them so they stare at you like perky Barbie dolls. 

Mysterious yet gentle. A lions roar with a hint of humility.

With loving arms you welcome. Pretending to provide stability. 

Inside lurks insecurities. You hide the pain with ease.

If only they looked deeper inside, they would see your heart’s disease. 

But this is nothing new to you. Attention is like the morning’s yawn. 

Although your bones barely keep you up, you keep on pressing on. 

The crowd keeps growing, just like your ego. You recognize your power.

They call for you, over and over, no matter what the hour. 

You long for the days that now are in the past. For who you used to be. 

I knew you back then, before the time harassed us both to be new and free. 

Before the fame. Before the hurt and the pain.

Before they all knew you were the greatest friend to gain.

I loved you first. 

08 2 / 2012

Don’t give me no lines, I hear em all the time.

I’d have diabetes if I ate all the sweet nothings your feeding.

Be honest and real and tell me how you truly feel.

Cuz I’m not just a dime, I’m the whole dollar, so if you’d be so kind, be a man or don’t even bother.

Listen. I ain’t trying to play games, ain’t trying to stir no flames.

I want to like you because you’re different than the others,

because you understand me more than my own sisters and brothers.

Not because we’re cooing sweet words to appease our loneliness,

or because you find me attractive and want my body to caress.

Listen. Don’t call me baby just cuz you hope I will be one day.

Today is not that day, and I don’t want our hearts to run away unless you’re really gonna stay.

You say, your wife you want to make me, but I all I hear is a cliche.

Don’t know if to believe what you tell me, maybe it’s just my mind you’re trying to sway.

Listen. I’m kind of a dreamer. I believe in passion, and soul mates, and love.

Although I’m a believer… I’m also honest with myself.

I know what I want and what I deserve. A man like Christ. I’m the church He served.

And if you’re that man, I will always respect you. And only then I’ll say “I do.”

-Anya Frolova (2/8/12)

01 2 / 2012

To the women who don’t think they are enough and the men that treat them so.

I am a dancer, a poet, a student, a leader. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a believer.

But none of these define who I really am: a child of God in the palm of His hand.

Who shall I impress with my qualifications? They’ll just be forgotten like Facebook notifications.

Instead, I think I will hold all my confidence in the One who holds my future plans, because Jesus said that without Him I will certainly fail.

So why worry about making a lasting impression on a man who’s only obsession is to find imperfections, who won’t confess to his own possession of oppression of… me!?

So, no, I won’t make concessions in demands to your perfection. And I won’t have discretion leaking the secrets of your expression to the point of my depression.

So take these big words that are now stuck in your throat like tears swelling a sea storm, and … weep. Weep so hard you can’t sleep, because even the sheep in your head have run deep into the hills of thoughts you’ll be having… when I’m gone.

I am worthy. I am loved. I am cherished by God.

I am saved. I am free. I am perfectly me.

(Anya Frolova, 1/31/12)

30 12 / 2011

I hope when I meet you…

You will know it’s me you’ve been looking for. You will be speechless, in the most adorable way. But you will have the perfect words to say for me to know it’s you I’ve been waiting for.

I hope when I meet you…

It will be the perfect timing, not too soon and not too far away. Our lives may not be perfect but we’ll be ready to accept and love each other anyway.

I hope when I meet you…

It will be a story we can tell our children. And grandchildren. It will be a moment we can treasure forever.

I hope when I meet you…

You will know I’m not perfect. But you’ll want me more than anyone else anyway. You won’t mind that I’m a dreamer, and you’ll know I’ve always known you would come into my life someday.

I hope when I meet you…

I won’t be able to think about no one else but you. We will both have butterflies. We can be romantics, and cheesy, and corny… and not care one little bit.

I wonder when I’ll meet you. I wonder what you’ll look like. I wonder if I’ve met you already. I wonder …

18 11 / 2011

Even the moments that weren’t perfect, are perfect now because they were with you.

Every hug, every kiss, every look, I do miss. It was perfect… it was bliss.

The adventures we shared, how I knew that you cared, and I cared for you too.

You saw my soul more than anyone one else on this world and you knew

How to make me smile and laugh. And even cry. It was when you said goodbye.

So much time has passed since we shared moments I thought would last… forever.

I hoped they would because I knew that I could somehow and someway endeavour

To keep growing with you, through the rain and the blues, I knew.

I would make it with you.

It was perfect.

Just the way it was.

- Anya Frolova, 11/18/2011

14 11 / 2011

To do, or not to do, that is the question, when I am face to face with a temptation.

In the moment, feels so great. Later, I know it’s a mistake.

In the midst I find my soul spinning into a black hole.

My heart cries out again, once more, for You to lift me off this floor

Where I have fallen, feel ashamed, in sin I lay, me to be blamed.

But You. In the dirtiness You find me. Nothing can hide me, no debris.

You put your light, shining bright, inside me. Remove me from the deep, dark sea.

I don’t deserve your warm embrace, too dirty to even see your face.

But You… don’t see me that way do You? It’s my beauty You pursue.

The beauty that can only come from one place, not found in any human race.

Only in You. The Holy One. Through the cross it has been done.

- Anya Frolova (11/14/2011)

08 11 / 2011

A like is not a love. A mitt is not a glove. 

So I cannot pretend that you want to be more than friends. 

I guess I am confused, was I just some kind of a muse? 

You were the one who started it, but I’m the one who got hit. 

Don’t worry though, it wont be long before I start singing a new song.

Guess you are not the one for me, just wish that I could somehow see 

The one that God has saved for me, I hope he’s better than I dream. 

Dear Lord, protect my tender heart, that wants to love with a brand new start.

- Anya (11/8/2011) 

02 11 / 2011

I see you sitting over there, looking so serious. 

You’re typing lots of little things, being mysterious. 

Do you even know you pout your lips when you try to focus,

You look so cute, like a tropical fruit, but you don’t even notice

I’m sitting here being so bored 

because your homework’s got you on overload. 

I hope you get some sleep tonight

And your dreams take you on a magical flight

To a place far far away from here

Where all your problems disappear. 

I love you more than I can say

You are my friend, and I will pray

That God holds you dear in the palm of his hand

And takes away fears because your future he has planned. 

- Anya Frolova, 11/1/2011